return my video game
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
