I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
