Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
