i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
