I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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