Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
