We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
