i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
