when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
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Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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