a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize