he thought i was a dude.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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