I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
