What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
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I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
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So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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