i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
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Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?