What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?