is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dating After Heartbreak
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
you never un-have a 4some
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it