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She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
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