I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr