I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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