why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
