Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
