worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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