Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
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Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
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We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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