You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We're too hungover to prance.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize