I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I need to align my fucking chakras
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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