Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
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After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
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I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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