She's JV to your varsity
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Mom said you looked used
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
