I can't breathe out the right side of my face
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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