There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
