you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
