I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
