I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
