You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
