I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
