I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
