I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
