none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
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I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
the raccoons are back...
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