you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
apparently the secret to your success is patron
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize