the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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