what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just google imaged poop.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
