I want to have your abortion
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
