You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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