Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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