No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
