nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
