I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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