I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize