dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
