Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i barfeds in our rink
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
did you just send me my own nude
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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