I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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