Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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