I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize