does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize