my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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