did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
