she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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