so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
