is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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