I wanna bring you to show and tell
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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